Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
