she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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