All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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