She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
