Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
