i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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