I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
