Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize