Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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