dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize