I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My feet surprised me
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