listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
