Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He is an equal opportunity slut.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
