Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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