When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
