Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
