operation have a gay friend backfired
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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