Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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