Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize