we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
