"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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