Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
