I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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