my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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