Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize