Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I think your dad took our porno
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
