cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I touched a dick in church today
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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