so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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