i barfeds in our rink
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
This toilet bowl is my home.
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