is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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