i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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