so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize