btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
