I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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