So drunk its hurt
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
