Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
