Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
