i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
