He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
