When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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