Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
