I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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