Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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