i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
