Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
