if you like me you must not know who I am
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
