If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Randomize
