Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
