Sry I called you an 8
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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