You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize