I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
