my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
pray to the hookup gods
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
