absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
