come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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