due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize
