moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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