so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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