The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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