I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
