We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
