i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize