Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
