I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
