I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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