We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
