Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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